BARBIE DOLL'S ROOM

ve been bitten by the Bug and I am coming down with oh- Something that can’t be cured There ain’t a doctor in this town who is more qualified than you, Yeah to be so adored

So tell me what do you prescribe for the symptoms Heart beating faster and work is a disaster and I’m lovesick when you’re not around To check me over Strong hands of healing I’m dancing on the ceiling

Fever sure has got me good What you do when fever takes hold? I can’t help but need this drug Don’t you feel the fever like I do? (Feel the fever)

I am ready for the news so tell me straight, Hey doctor just what do you diagnose? There ain’t a surgeon like you any place in all the world So now, shall I remove my clothes?

So tell me what do you advise for the symptoms Heart beating faster and work is a disaster and I’m lovesick when you’re not around To check me over With strong hands of healing I’m dancing on the ceiling

Fever sure has got me good What you do when fever takes hold? I can’t help but need this drug Don’t you feel the fever like I do? Fever sure has got me good What’cha do when fever takes hold? I can’t help but need this drug Don’t you feel the fever like I do?

Ah Fever

So tell me what do you perscribe for the symptoms Heart beating faster and work is a disaster and I’m lovesick when you’re not around To check me over With strong hands of healing I’m dancing on the ceiling

Fever sure has got me good What you do when fever takes hold? I can’t help but need this drug Don’t you feel the fever like I do? Fever fever I can’t help but need this drug Don’t you feel the fever like I do? Feel the fever

Dear Barbie Doll, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

… … … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband Rabbit P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the P49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed P50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 90 million pesos, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that’s not a problem